This is the first interview Chris Brown has done with VIBE since “it” happened. When he says “it,” Brown’s referring to what he calls his “situation with Shorty.” In this case, “Shorty” would be his pop star ex-girlfriend Rihanna. The “situation?” That’s the Grammy night beating, for which he pled guilty to one count of assault with the intent of doing great bodily injury in June 2009, resulting in 180 days of “labor oriented” service, five years of probation, domestic abuse counseling and a “stay away” order that prohibits him from being within 50 feet of Rihanna.

“It” inspired a national conversation about domestic abuse that divided the country into two factions: pro-Rihanna or anti-Chris. “It” caused radio stations to ban his records, brands to cancel his endorsements and one award show to drop his set. “It” turned friends into foes, fans into critics. “It” even gave voice to the odd powder-blue bow tie that he wore on CNN’s Larry King Live (as highlighted on twitter.com/mybluebowtie). While talking to Brown one afternoon at his Richmond, VA dance studio, it becomes clear that his life was severely affected by “it.”

VIBE: Can you think of anything positive that came from the incident with Rihanna?
CHRIS BROWN: The good that came from it was making me realize I wasn’t invincible. It humbled me to take my career and my life a lot more seriously as well as have more respect for women and my fans. I let a lot of people down. I really need to step it up and be more of an adult. I’ve done some childish things.

You said Will Smith called you to offer support. How did that phone conversation go?
Me and him met at certain events but it never was on some, “What’s up man? We going to hang out.” But when I needed him the most, that’s when he stepped in. I was in my house in Virginia and he just called me and said he wanted to talk to me and said his family is praying for me. He basically went into his personal situations. I don’t want to give away what we was talking aboutŃjust talking about life and decisions and how choices we make affect the world. Others [reached out] like David Banner, Pharrell, Busta Rhymes, so many people that cared.

Have you spoken with Jay-Z since it all went down?
Nah.

Do you plan on it?
Not really. I don’t think I need to. We’ve never been friends or close so it’s not really a thing where I have to explain myself to him or feel I need to talk to him.

He kinda got tossed into it through his association with Rihanna.
Yeah, they like drama. The media wants to make it bigger than what it was.

There were a lot of people who condemned you. Some of them were people you worked with, people you probably considered friends. Were you prepared for that?
I know exactly who you talking about. You’re getting the juice now. ’Cause I’m giving it all. [Laughs.] But yeah, I felt like people were corny for that. It’s good to take sides but at the end of the day if you don’t know the story you can’t make a judgment as to what went on. People had other motives too. People jumping on the bandwagon on that side had motives because of their personal interests in that person. And that’s why I say you see who people really are. It was kind of embarrassing. But I was glad that people came to her defense. Because I was in her corner and I wanted to make sure she was good.

You were removed from the BET Awards show when the Michael Jackson tribute was happening. As a supreme MJ fan, that had to hurt.
It was wack. I’ll keep it a hundred. The BET Awards was horrible. I was watching it, holding my face like, “Oh my God, this is wack.” I didn’t get it. Michael Jackson was such a big entertainer. And I’m not dissing any of the artists who did the songs. But I was expecting a lot more energy for Michael. And BET Awards usually comes hard. I was expecting them to have Usher, Omarion and even Justin. And I was expecting Ne-Yo to dance. They were so bent on not getting me there that they messed up their own show.

How did you hear about it?
They had me in rehearsal for it and [at the] last minute they said, “Well, we can’t do it because of sponsor reasons,” or whatever the case. That’s wack. I look at it like you have somebody who has the same scenario as me but you honor him that nightŃDon Cornelius. He had [a similar] charge as me and he even got convicted of his charge and you honor him that night.

So you feel like you were singled out?
If they want to stand for something, stand for everything. I know what I did was wrong, and I was making amends and working that out for me. I felt like BET should have been looking at the people who got drug charges, gun charges, weapons, other stuff. You can’t discriminate against one person because you’re afraid the media is going to kill you. That’s not standing up for your culture and helping somebody who is down back up. I’m not saying boost my name up like, “Yo, he’s the best!” I’m not asking for that. Let’s make sure we show them that it’s wrong but we still support our people and get them to a higher place and let them learn from their mistakes.

You took a big hit on The Oprah Winfrey Show too. As a result of your incident, she did several shows addressing teen domestic violence.
I didn’t get a call from them or anything. I felt embarrassed, but at the same time I felt stabbed in the back. Okay, Oprah, you have so much power and people really listen to what you say. You don’t know anything that went down and you jump to conclusions and start bringing people on the set that have no similarities to me other than a domestic dispute. And then compare them to me when she’s been around me and knows me. She could have called me and been like, “Chris, let me get you on my show and I’m going to do this kind of segment.”

Any interest in talking to Oprah now?
Not really.

You wouldn’t go on her show?
I would go on there to do something to help people, not for redeeming myself because I’ve said all I need to say about this situation. If I went on her show, it would show women who I am. Definitely to do something for kids, some charity. It wouldn’t be about the situation because she already did three shows on it.

But you did go on Larry King Live. It appeared to be an uncomfortable interview for you. What happened behind the scenes?
Behind the scenes, [Larry] came in as a nice guy. Cool. Chill. Wasn’t no animosity. As soon as the cameras came on it was like, Bam! “Did you do it? Did you do it?” It kinda changed the energy of the room. It was an uncomfortable situation.

Your bow tie also wound up being a big distraction.
That’s just my swag. People don’t understand how I dress. I don’t try to do what everybody else do. Like the bow tie. The bow tie had its own Twitter page. That was kind of funny. I was laughing. I’m actually following the bow tie now. It says stuff like, “Yeah, man, I’m right under your chin.” [Laughs.]

Have you watched Larry King before?
Every now and then . . . I knew kinda what to expect but I didn’t know the level of it. I didn’t really want to do it but I did it. It was more of a PR thing. I sent out the apology. I wanted to do that from day one. In any interview, whether it’s good or bad, I always give a natural answer on how I felt or how I am as a person. It was just awkward. I thought it was going to get my point across of how I felt and let people know how sorry I was, but it kinda backfired and let people ridicule me and criticize me even more.

Do you feel you’ve gotten your point across now?
To a degree. At this point I’ve said all I can say and I’ve done all I can do. I’m making my steps to be who I am. To be a better man.

Is there any time a man can justifiably hit a woman?
Nah, never. It’s never okay for a man to hit a woman but it’s [also] never okay for a woman to hit a man. I think domestic violence is not just men on women. Statistically does it happen? Yes. But as a whole it should be looked upon as a mutual thing. It should never be always one-sided. Nobody knows every side of anybody’s life or anybody’s story. It’s not good to put your hands on anybody, period. Both parties. A woman and man, it doesn’t matter. Domestic abuse isn’t just physical. It starts with verbal. Nobody just fights because of whatever. It usually starts from an argument. That’s what goes back to the counseling. Learning how to control your anger and learning how to control situations.

Let’s talk about your new album, Graffiti. You bare some emotional scars, like on the song “Crawl.”
Everybody knows I got some songs about Shorty. I got a lot of records about how I was feeling emotionally. But how could I put a song out that could make people relate to my feelings but at the same time look at it broad instead of just a situation? Like let’s crawl back to love with any scenario: with war, with teen violence. Let’s crawl back to love and have a positive light.

“Pass Out” has a more international sound than we’ve ever heard from you. Where did that come from?
It’s a party record that’s for everywhere. Even for the gay clubs. That’s the lane I wanted to go in with that record.

So, you wanted to make a song for the gay clubs?
Yeah, why not? I don’t discriminate. I don’t hate on none of that. I look at it like everybody is a fan of music, so you can’t just make music for one audience. Michael Jackson didn’t just make music for one group of people, Rolling Stones and The Beatles too. I don’t have a right to judge anybody for whatever their sexual preference is. So I just make music for everybody. If I’m in the poppin’est hood club and they play techno music or house music, I’m still going to be dancing. Whether they playing my music in a straight club or gay club or wherever, it doesn’t matter to me.

Are you competitive with other artists? For example, do you see Usher and say, “I’m gonna top him?”
That wasn’t my goal. I always looked up to Usher and I respected Usher as an artist and I was always like, ‘I hope he embraces me as a little brother.’ I always pay respect to Usher because he does what so many cats don’t do. He sold so many records and pioneered the way for a lot of people. Then there was all this hoopla and then I had one altercation [with Usher] where he got a little cocky and said different things. I’m like, “Okay, I know you Usher, but at the end of the day, it’s a new day. And I do me. You can’t do this like I do.” Not saying this arrogantly, but that’s how I was feeling at the time. Michael Jackson was the best. I’m not trying to surpass him. I’m just trying to do me to the best of my ability.

In your “I Can Transform Ya” video, you are really killing the karate moves. Was that your idea?
Yeah. I want to showcase a different side. I started doing martial arts at 7. I stopped when I was like 13, 14. Power Rangers got me into it. I did it for a while just playing around. In the video, I’m using nunchucks; flippin’ doing acrobatics and gymnastics, all of that. Now I’m a red belt.

What artists did you plan to work with but didn’t?
The timing wasn’t right for me and Justin Timberlake. And I wanted to do an R&B song with me, Justin and Usher. But I didn’t think the timing was right with everything that was going on, so I didn’t pursue it.